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The Next Step…

I don’t know if I’m ready to do this… but if you love someone your definitely going to try right? Well, since my Mom will be selling our house the one we’re currently living in.. I think she’s going to stay with my sister in Oregon for awhile.. Carlo and I are thinking about getting an apartment/house together.. with his brother Jama and our puppy Bailey.. We are trying to find and apartment/house to get that can have large dogs.. knowing that Bailey is half black labrador half German shepherd she’s going to be a biiiig dog.. stressing that there’s a possibility that we’re gonna lose our puppy is driving me insane, I love Bailey.. I don’t want to give her to the pound.. after all the $$$ we spend on her.. I just don’t know what to do at this point.. BUT, I am excited that we’re gonna actually have an apartment/house we’re gonna call our own.. excited for apartment/house shopping, grocery shopping, housewarming party with our friends.. The only problem is.. I’m not ready to grow up.. I don’t know what I’m gonna do when my moms not around.. there’s so much to worry about aside from the happy things.. I’m almost 21 years old and I’m not ready for the life that’s waiting for me.. My moms the only parent I have left.. and yes she may get into my nerves at times but what happens if she leaves and I need her.. knowing me if there’s anything thing that hurts or I cut my self or even just a fever I cry for my mom.. what am I going to do when she’s far away.? I can call her but what if she doesn’t answer? My fear is that she’s going to be too busy for me.. ughhh.. I hate mix emotions.. It’s just hard for me at this point. gahhh..